do you have any idea who is your anon hater?

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It could even be… you. 

Thing I am currently over:

  • Nick Jonas pandering to the gays in order to stage a comeback and all y’all thirsty bitches falling for it, hook, line, and sparkly dildo. 
Humping is when you bump into someone with your crotch!
My friend’s 8-year old son. 
A drum circle full of white people.

A drum circle full of white people.

An update on my life through a Facebook message.

An update on my life through a Facebook message.

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Why have there not been any hit sitcoms over the last few years?

tanya77:

It’s a mathematical formula . The level of your comedy is inversely proportional to the number of network executives.
Years ago you might have one network exec overseeing 4 shows. Nowadays, you may have 7 executives overseeing one show.

(Source: azspot)

yo fatass,! stop it with the selfies

I think you’re projecting, so…

My my, Mr. Officer, I do declare your sweet words could charm the mornin’ dew right off the honeysuckle.
Blanche Devereaux or, y’know, me (it never works).
I bet the first tip is to be as insufferable as possible throughout the week, informing all your friends about your “big” or “little,” in person or through Facebook statuses. I also imagine that it suggests you constantly talk about your “big” or “little” for the rest of your existence, about how much you’ve learned from each other, etc. 
Either way, I already know I want to punch Beatrice (for that name alone) in the face. 

I bet the first tip is to be as insufferable as possible throughout the week, informing all your friends about your “big” or “little,” in person or through Facebook statuses. I also imagine that it suggests you constantly talk about your “big” or “little” for the rest of your existence, about how much you’ve learned from each other, etc. 

Either way, I already know I want to punch Beatrice (for that name alone) in the face. 

If you pack a flask to get through a school day, does that make you an alcoholic or just smart?

Asking for a friend.

I know you live in DC, but where exactly?

the only thing i'd higher you for is a blogjob.

I… I don’t even know where to start with this. A “blogjob.”

Just applied to a job in Michigan!

And, like, since I’m in such high demand and being hired is a foregone conclusion, what can I expect from the state? Do any of you dudes or dudettes live there? 

This article, answering the question: Should you upgrade to the iPhone 6?

"…think of the rare earth minerals and the environmental cost…" 

How about, no, you fucking hippy. 

The other Ferguson we should be protesting:

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